An Honest Resolution: Fitness Done Differently

What You Need To Know (the boring background stuff):

While playing basketball I fell on my back and twisted three of the vertebrae over onto a nerve cluster.  I went to a physiotherapist and I was told I had a weak core.  By the end of the season I couldn't straighten my back and I had pain from my lower back down into my legs.  When I went home for the summer I went to a chiropractor.  After a bunch of x-rays and scans, I was told that the damage might be permanent and the chiropractor was surprised I could still walk.  Luckily I starting making progress after a couple weeks. Unluckily I ended the summer with a few injuries (driveway basketball is intense in my family) and a nasty car accident which was a huge setback.

So What?
Well I love fitness, I like being at the gym.  I like lifting and running windsprints and doing chin-ups. Having an injury and stepping away from basketball has been difficult and it has also changed how I approach fitness.  So one of my resolutions this year was to commit to approaching fitness the right way.


Fitness looks different for me now.  Since I hurt my back I have not been able to do much weightlifting.  I can't run with my weighted vest, I can't do any top loaded weights, I can't do any exercises involving twisting or leaning.  The gym used to be a place where I could really push myself and now I have to be so careful. As an athlete I understand the importance of pushing limits, in fact I love the challenge of it. I did very serious damage to my back and even though a lot of it is not permanent, I am still in a very delicate stage of rehab. The point is my fitness goals have to take into account my injury and that means that pushing myself has to take place within certain limits (I know it seems paradoxical but stick with me here).  For me this means less time lifting and more time stretching, it means I have to give up a lot of HIIT workouts and focus on slow, controlled movements.  It's not forever, it's just for this season in my life.

I am fit for me.  Sometimes I feel embarrassed to go to the gym.  Sometimes I feel like my workouts are insignificant because I can't lift the amount I used to lift or because my workouts are shorter.  I weigh about 25 pounds less than I did at the end of the season last year.  Sometimes my body feels like a ghost, and I can't put the weight back on because the only thing that helped me maintain the weight in the first place was lifting.  Sometimes I feel small and weak and like I have no business at a gym.  Even though those feelings are very real, they are not the reality of the situation. The only time I am weak is when I don't do something because I'm afraid of what other people think.  It doesn't matter whether I gain weight or not, it doesn't matter how long I am at the gym.  It doesn't matter whether I lift 100 pounds or 10 pounds.  I am building good habits for the future, I am maintaining a foundation so that one day I can build on it.

I used to win a lot more arm wrestles

None of my pants fit anymore but it's fine because belts are fun... right?