Home?

When I left Edmonton I thought it would be somewhere I could always belong.  I imagined bring my kids to the house my parents owned.  I imagined returning every year at Christmas.  I wanted to transfer to U of A after my second year of college.  It was home.

This is the first time I have been back in Edmonton in 4 years, I mean really back.  I've been back for basketball games and to spend a few hours with my brother. But for the next two months I will be here. Everyday.  Dealing with the traffic and construction.  Avoiding tourist attractions during peak times. I will wake up here and go to sleep here.

In the shadows of familiarity hide the shadows of who I used to be.  They are the remnants of a former life, with former dreams and aspirations.  It is not a bad thing to grow up.  It is not terrible to change, in fact I am proud of a lot of the change in my life.  The fact that I am not the same 18 year old who left Edmonton nearly 5 years ago is a good thing.

It might very well be that this city will never be home again.  But I do belong here, in this moment.  I belong wherever I choose to be.  And I choose to be here.